When I love something I love it and that's it. Sometimes I love it to life...sometimes I love it to death...and if you've ever loved something so much that you feel like you're going to explode then you know exactly what I mean by that. When does enough become enough? When does too much feel like too much? When it comes to love, can it ever really be a bad thing? Yeah. I think so. It depends on what it is your loving. It depends on whether or not what you're loving is able, and more importantly, willing to love you back. I believe that love given must be reciprocated at some point in time...or it's not healthy. It's not healthy because even if you give and give and give love and never get any back you can't ever run out. Meaning you can continue to give and give and give because it doesn't go away. And love makes you do things that you don't think through...and sometimes it makes you desperate...and sometimes it makes you shameless...and none of those words I just used should ever be as a result of love. Not real love. Not "love never fails" love. So if it isn't love, then what is it? I think it can be memories. I think it can be the longing of times or feelings past. I think it can be the wishing and desperation for that thing that you love to maybe, just maybe, be able to show you love back. But let's face it, that doesn't happen. And there is no way we can make it happen. Because if it isn't then it just isn't. So how does all of this apply to my diet/weight loss journey? Well...I've been indulging a lot this past week. I know why. No emotional binges crazy excuses...I've just been really busy...and busy equals fast food in my life. At the beginning of the week I felt disgusted by what I was eating (because God forbid I ever eat a SALAD from a place where I can get a good cheeseburger) but right now as I finished my bowl of chocolate chip cookies with vanilla ice cream I thought to myself "I love to eat this food"...but you know what...that's a lie. I don't love it...I don't even like it anymore...and that's what I love. Food can't love me like I can love me...and I do...I love me. I love how I can tie my shoes now. I love that I can finish a T25 workout and not feel like I'm dying. I love that I can do 125 squats at one time....I love me...and that's the kind of love that never fails. Even when I have bas food choice days...of which I have had plenty of this past week...I can love me anyway...and that is the sweetest victory. In the words of the late great Miss Whitney Houston learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all (I love the fact that I grew up in the 80's!!!)
As I was typing this post I had to leave to pick up my niece (who is the coolest girl on the planet) but anyway...it sucked cause I lost my train of thought. As I read it back though I have to admit I wonder what all of this love talk is really about...and as I reflect on my day I can't think of anything that would provoke these thoughts other than what I've already talked about...but...if I come up with something else I will definitely let you know!
No comments:
Post a Comment