No Offense Tina Turner but Love has EVERYTHING to Do With It!!

I am eternally grateful for the fact that no one can see me right now.  I'm sitting here in fornt of the computer with headphones on.  What am I listening to you ask??? (Just pretend like you asked!) Absolutely nothing.  I have the headphones on because they were the closest thing within reach that can keep my ears warm, and, my husband has the television on sooooo loud I need something to block out the noise.  Today I thought alot about love.  Love.  A small word that can mean so much to one person and absolutely nothing to another.  One thing I have learned in my 38 years of life is that if someone doesn't love you, they don't love you.  It doesn't mean they are never gonna love you, but you cannot do anything to make someone love you.  Why the heck would you want to make someone love you anyway???  In my life I have loved hard and lost even harder.  I have had people love me that I just couldn't go there with.  I have seen and felt and lived both sides.  So when I say I 'love" food, is that what it is really??? I think not.  I think I have myself convinced that food can heal all things.  I know this by the way I shove french fries in my mouth when I'm pissed.  I know this by the way I crave chocolate chip cookies (or just the dough, because most time it doesn't make it to the oven) when my feelings are hurt.  Love is supposed to make you feel good.  Love should make you want to be more (of whatever you need to be more of)..."Love, should have brought your ass home last night!" (Sorry, sorry...my thoughts ramble on, then I start thinking of music, then I start thinking of movies, and this line is from the movie Boomerang...anyway my thoughts ran away and my fingers followed )....BUT...back to the subject at hand...after I stuff my face with the wrong kinds of foods I feel bad about myself...so I need to stop saying I love food...because based on my own description...I definately don't!  Today was a pretty good food day all in all.  I had a bowl of chocolate cheerios for breakfast,  then an apple, for lunch I had a tuna packet with 3 whole wheat crackers and some pineapple.  I snacked on a chocolate chip granola bar.  I went to my moms for a surprise dinner and when I walked in I was overwhelmed by the smells of (cue suspenseful music)...tamales!!! Yes it's true...these Mexican's eat tamales even when it's not Christmas!!!  I had four (on my plate) then had one more that I took off of my daughter's plate when she wouldn't stay seated on the table (couldn't waste them) and even though my mom kept insisting that I have more (because she loves me) I was able to get up and walk away...literally...I left my mom's house...because I knew that if I sat there and talked I was going to start picking at the tamales until I finished a couple of more.  My soda count today is ZERO!!! I have not had one soda today, which is why my hed is pounding right now.  Caffiene withdrawals suck!!!  As I was starting to get comfortable on the computer my husband came up behind me with a large cup of hot chocolate that included an even LARGER pile of whipped cream on top.  I drank about half and I feeel like the chocolate has helped my headache a little so that's good news.  The most successful part of my day??? Getting through a lunch time work out with my personal trainer.  DOn't get me wrong...it was not easy and I felt like I was going to fall out!!!  But I pushed through it and I finished strong!  My quads are burning from the squats...and I am not looking forward to how they are going to feel tomorrow, but it's a good burn (better than heartburn, corny joke hour at my house)  He also had me do this ting where I pick the medicine ball up over my head and throw it to the ground as hard as I could...now that felt way better emotionally than it did physically...in fact I really didn't even get the point of that until later when I tried to take my scrub top off (get your minds out of the gutter) and couldn't get it past my shoulders because they were burning too!!!  So YAY FOR ME!!! I would call today a success in the food/exercise department.  Tomorrow we're having a potluck at work...frito boats and chili dogs...cake and ice cream...(gulp) Dr. Pepper...pray for me please!!!